Thoughts...

Thoughts as of NOW:

I suck at packing...

I miss someone....

I wish I didn't have to work to get money...

There are only 15 more days...

Moving will just make me miss that someone more...

I can't stop thinking of someone...

I am obviously obsessing...

I hate this...

Was I stupid to send this?

* (Someone I'm Missing),
All that I am hoping with this is that you will read it...no reply necessary...
I just hope it's not deleted as soon as you see that it's from me...
I know that I am the biggest idiot to walk this earth... I know you don't want to hear from me... or see me... or anything... right?
But...I also know that I can't...as in not at all...cannot stop thinking about you...
Thinking about everything...how we first talked on IM and you sent me a picture of you at a piano...
Meeting you at Shayla's birthday party...that whole night...
Sitting alone on a bench...you came to talk to me...I was a complete idiot
Trying to flirt by hiding your longboard...crying in the middle of the party over nothing...
Crossing the street to the cemetary...glow in the dark bead necklace...
And then later in the year...I told you I wanted to marry you...but you had a girlfriend...
You promised to be my first kiss in the rain...to sweep me off my feet...
Even later...fighting...for who knows why...waiting for a reply from you on IM while I was supposed to be watching my brother...possibly the scariest night of my life...
9th grade...I became Miss Anonymous...you wrote hateful words about me on your blog...
Your friends hated me....even though I didn't know them...
But we moved on...onto high school...
We started texting...I never got over you...
Never saw you...ever...I loved when we talked though...and occasionally saw each other...
My favorite night up to this moment was the night that I texted you...I texted you that there were aliens outside my window...
You went right along with it...saying you would come save me if I were abducted...and then you would tour in space...and have concerts on the moon...
Now I sit here thinking about you...all the time...who cares that you hate me? and who cares that I messed it up on my own?
All I care about is the fact that I love you....unreasonably......irrevocably....I mean I love you so much, that I am not even concerned if that is spelled right or not....which you know, is huge for me....I love you...not just like...LOVE...the L word...I don't care what you've done in the past...and I don't care that you hate me...I don't care...
I love you...
Ever since I left for California, there has not been much on my mind except for you... And to me that means either you are the one....the one guy for me...or there is a guy out there that will be able to get you off my mind...because I have tried everything...
I deleted your number....I unfriended you....all because I didn't want to be hurt anymore...
Of course, that didn't work...now it just hurts worse, knowing that you hate me...and it's all my fault...
And now...I just want you back in my life...I don't care about being hurt anymore...I want you...Which of course is a totally unreasonable thing for me to ask...it's selfish, and idiotic...but I am unreasonable, selfish, and idiotic then...
I know that I am just rambling now...but I needed you to know...
Don't feel like you have to reply...or anything...
Hoping this isn't goodbye, but I'm not trying anymore...
Love, with all my heart, unreasonably, and idiotically (if that's a word...)
Katrina Marie Brocco...
P.S. I almost forgot to tell you that I'm sorry for everything...*

Now you probably want an explanation....
 
Sorry...You can't have one...
 
The End.