Here's the truth...

It's a new year and I want to be a good blogger again.  I have some things that I feel like telling the blogger world, whether they care or not.  So here it goes.

1. I was an odd child.

Technically, I would still consider myself odd, and sometimes still a child.  But, I was reading my textbook (more like skimming it) which reminded me of elementary school.  I remember when the teacher would tell us to read a few pages in our geography book or something.  I would always sit by the same people, because we were in alphabetical order.  For some reason, I had to finish reading it before the people around me.  It's not like we talked about who could read it faster or made it a contest or something.  But in my mind, I would watch how fast they were reading and want to be faster than them (I'm competitive).  I wouldn't even really read anything, I would skim it and turn my pages faster than them.  I always finished "reading" before them, but it probably never did me any good.  Odd, I know.

2. I've only ever had two boyfriends.

Technically, or officially or whatever.  Only two.  Does that mean there's something wrong with me? This has kind of been bugging me a lot lately.  Like I see all my friends getting married, having babies, being in committed relationships, and I am here, just going along.  My first boyfriend lasted two weeks.  My second lasted about a month.  It's not like there haven't been other boys, because there have.  But, only two "committed" relationships.  But zero long term ones.  But, you know what?  I am ready for one, I want a long term relationship, I want someone to be committed to me, someone to tell me I'm pretty even when I don't feel it.  It's been a really long time since a guy has told me I'm pretty (besides my gay coworker).

3. Speaking of pretty, sometimes I don't feel it.

I'm a girl.  I'm insecure sometimes.  Sometimes I need reassurance that I am beautiful, because sometimes I go out the door with my hair in a ponytail, in a t-shirt and jeans just hoping no one will notice me.  It's not all the time, sometimes I look in the mirror and think I look great, but sometimes I don't.

4. I am overweight.

Not that you would know, because the only pictures I post on here are of my face.  But I am.  I weigh a lot more than I want to.  But I made a New Years Resolution (I know those never work out, so I am just calling it a goal, because that sounds more realistic) to eat healthier and work out more.  So far, so good.  Not that I am seeing results or anything, but I feel good because I know I am trying.  I would give anything for a flat stomach.

5. I miss blogging.

But the thing is, sometimes I don't know what to say, or I have to much to say so I don't say anything.  Nothing exciting happens in my life anymore, there's no boys to do a dear boys to, and I don't feel like doing Wacky Wednesday.  No one even reads my blog.  Maybe one person (seriously only one person read my last post).  Even when I do get page views, I feel like no one cares.  You know a comment goes a long way.  My last comment was in May.  Yeah, I check...(every day, sometimes more than once).

6.  I'm trying to be better.

With a lot of things.  There are so many things in my life I can improve on, blogging is one of them.  The rest can get a little personal so I won't tell you.

7.  I still want to do A Very Potter Musical.

Kynia if you read this, you should, uh, let me know what's going on here.

Anything else you want to know about me?

(Katrina Marie)