It's not Wednesday, but I won't have any time tomorrow and I really wanted to write something.
I just read Little Miss Momma's love story (parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8). I hope she puts more up soon, because I am hooked. You can start reading it right HERE! But I am warning you, you'll be hooked. She is a very good writer and so far, their story is just so darn cute and adorable.
Now, after reading that I really just want something like that to happen to me. I am trying to be patient though, because I know the Lord has his own timing, and I believe in that. But at the same time, it's hard!!
A little while ago I had convinced myself that it was my turn, my time had finally come. I was so excited and giddy, and I am finally going to share it with you guys.
This was fairly recent so I think I will keep names out of it. I will just call him RM (returned missionary haha).
So, RM served a mission in New Zealand. I had worked with him for a couple of years during high school and then he went to SUU the year before I went there. But the year I went he left on his mission. It was fairly coincidental that I started going to UVU this past August and he got home in September. So we were both in the same place again. I was so excited to see him! I had written him a couple of times while he was on his mission.
The thing was that we had never dated or anything, we were just good friends. While he had been at SUU, I used to text him randomly, "Hey do you still love me?" and he would always reply "Yes, I love you." It was never a mushy gushy thing, just a friend thing. So a little while before he got back off his mission I jokingly told one of our mutual friends that I decided I was going to marry RM. It just made sense, I like spending time with him, we are good friends, I love his family and they love me. It would have been the perfect scenario. But I didn't realize that joke was more truth until he came home.
He came home and I didn't see him for like a week. My mom saw him before I saw him, which really upset me. Then when I finally did get to see him (one night at the snack shack), I automatically hugged him, but I didn't want to let go. I held onto him for like two minutes. I told him I just missed him a lot. Finally I let go of him and sat on a counter with him standing beside me. I couldn't stop looking at him. His brother and sister came by after they had reffed their soccer games. I had told him about work and school and everything when his brother came by.
Brother: RM the BYU girls soccer game tomorrow night is a date night. Get two tickets for the price of one. Find a girl and ask her out!
His sister was sitting across from us and I saw her tilt her head motioning towards me. But then he told her that I worked the next night (which I did), but I found myself really disappointed that I couldn't go with him.
From that night forward (for like a month), I could not stop thinking about him. I went home that night and had a dream about him. (One of many.) Every time I thought about him, it just felt right. I could picture myself with him for the rest of my life. After a dream one night, I was convinced that this was real, this was going to happen, that this was what the Lord wanted. Every time I heard his name I smiled, I sighed, I was totally smitten.
We hadn't even been on a date.
But I was going to change this. I started out slow. I invited him to come to a BYU men's home soccer game. My cousin is on the team and my whole family was going to be there. So it was no pressure, just a fun activity that we would both enjoy. He met me at the mall and I drove us from there, afterwards I took him home and said hi to his parents, then I went home.
I wanted to go on a real date with him though, so some of my friends wanted to do a group date to the haunted forest. I asked RM if he would want to go with me, and he said that he didn't really like haunted things, but he would go for me. I felt bad though, because I didn't want him to be uncomfortable, so I told my friends we wouldn't be joining them and came up with another plan. I asked one of our mutual friends if he and his girlfriend would like to double with us, and they said yes. We ended up going to a corn maze and then carving pumpkins. Once again I drove. I paid, because I had asked. As I was taking him home, he said "Next time I get to pay for you." My reply was "As long as there is a next time." "Yeah, but you will have to invite me again, because I don't do anything fun," is what he said.
So a little while later, the institute was doing a date night, and I thought it would be a good opportunity for a second date. So I asked him what he thought, and he said yes.
A couple weeks before the date night, I had a really bad day and I was texting him about it. He told me that I just needed to smile and everything would be okay.
"Well then I should be around you more often, you always make me smile" I said flirtatiously of course. So we made plans to hang out that weekend. I went over to his house, had dinner with his family, then we played games with his younger siblings. It was a lot of fun, and I totally flirted my butt off. Every time I hugged him good night just made everything better. I smiled the entire way home.
Finally the institute date night came, and so did the first snow of the season. I drove again, but I didn't mind. I picked him up and we went to Goodwood Barbeque like we had planned for dinner. We ate and talked, and when the check came he payed. Then we drove to the institute building. The date night was pretty fun, there was a live band, some food, and a speaker. After the speaker, they moved all the chairs so the couples could dance to the live music. RM refused to dance with me, he just kept saying that he didn't dance. I said okay, and we went back to his house. It was still pretty early so we decided to play a couple games before I went home.
After that I was sure he liked me, but I didn't want to be pushy. So I decided I would wait for him to ask me out next time. I waited and waited, and then I got impatient. I really wanted to go the Festival of Trees and thought it would be fun to go with him. So one day while I was texting him I nonchalantly said "hey it would be really fun to go to the festival of trees." He asked when it was and we went on our way. A week or so later he texted me asking when I wanted to go. Then we made definite plans. I wasn't sure if this meant he had asked me or I had asked him, or whatever. We went to the festival (he paid for me to get in) and had a good time looking around. I (finally) got him to take a picture with me and we decided to go somewhere for lunch. I suggested Zupa's because he hadn't been there before. So we went. Somehow I ended up ahead of him in line, and when I got to the end, they asked if we were together. I turned to him... he said "whatever you want" So I went ahead and paid for myself. It's not like I was going to be like okay then, he's paying for me. That's just rude. (by the way he drove this time)
After that I got really impatient, I just really needed to know how he felt about me. But I was a huge wuss and wasn't going to say anything to him. Good thing I was friends with his sister, right? So I asked her if she knew and she said she would find out for me. I waited and waited, and didn't get an answer. She told me she was waiting for the right time to ask him, so I waited some more. Right before Christmas, I got my answer. "He said he just likes you as a friend, sorry."
I was expecting it, the more I waited the more I came to terms with it. When someone had confronted me about the picture of me with RM as my fb profile and my phone screen, I said it didn't matter because I didn't think he liked me. When I said it, I realized that I knew it was true.
That didn't mean it didn't hurt to hear it. I cried all the way home from work that day. I still haven't talked to him about it. I actually haven't talked to him at all. I just don't know what to say. I still need to get over him. Which is proving difficult. But I just have to remember that soon enough the Lord will put someone in my life that will love me. I am so excited for that day.
(Katrina Marie)
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