An Open Letter to Modern Dating

Dear Modern Dating,

I don't think I am equipped for the way you work.  I've tried your way of doing things.

To my understanding, I can't show too much interest at first because I'll scare them off, but if I don't show enough interest then they'll think I don't want to date them.  It's a fine line I'm supposed to balance on right there.  And then you don't want me to tell him how I am feeling when I'm feeling it, because what if I tell him I like him and he doesn't feel the same way yet?  Then I'm left feeling vulnerable and I start over thinking everything.  But what if he is feeling the same way?  Then we should definitely tell each other right? No, because then what do we do?  Jump into a relationship, right? That seems logical to me.  But what about all the other girls he's talking to (via Tinder, Facebook, Texting, etc.)? He can't just stop talking to them because he kind of likes me.  And being honest, there's a couple of other guys you've been talking to also, are you ready to give that up and be committed to just him.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but it sure feels that way sometime.  And I'll be honest, I am not that girl.  I've tried really hard to be that girl who is interested but not clingy, sweet but not a pushover, goes for what she wants but isn't too agressive.  That's not me.

I'm the girl who will talk to a lot of guys at once, but as soon as I feel anything more than "he's kind of cute" I stop talking to all the other guys.  I'm the girl that wants to know everything about him, so I try to have a constant conversation with him.  I want to talk/text all the time.  I'm the girl that, as soon as I feel like I like someone, I tell them (which is a good way to make me feel vulnerable).  I'm the girl that over thinks everything.  Like, everything.  What does it mean?! Seriously though, it bothers me when I don't talk to the guy I like for a whole day.  It's hard for me to figure out the perfect balance between clingy and aloof.  I'm definitely clingy, and I know it!

And with the way dating is now a days, I don't think I am made for it.  But, there's nothing I can do about it.  So if I want to get married, which I do, I've got to try to make it through these stupid games, we call Modern Dating.  No offense.

Can we compromise and say that the games are stupid?  Because they are and that's not how dating should be.

Love always,

Katrina Marie